I'm working on a fantasy story. I've tried this multiple times in the past, but failed. I'm now throwing out my most recent attempt to start something new. Please give me feedback with each passage I put up.
As a note, I plan on making something resembling a language for this world. In the meantime, I am writing words that will be translated in [brackets]. If the name strikes you as stupid, bear with me, it should sound cooler once I come up with the language's basics. Name suggestions would be welcome, but should have a literal correspondence to the name in English.
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